QUESTION: “I know that God did not make me like this (Gay), but he could have prevented certain events in my life that lead up to my adiction. And why did I have to have these feelings? Why doesn’t God just take them away already? What is He waiting for!?
”I also feel like it’s unfair. Why do I have to strive to become something I’m not when other people don’t have to do anything? Straight people by their nature are avoiding a very dangerous sin( homosexuality), and many of them don’t realize or care that they are so blessed to not be imprisoned by this curse. They don’t know of all the sacrifices we have to make to become like them while they have to do nothing. It feels so unfair, doesn’t it?”
REPLY: Thank you for your letter. It takes a lot of courage for a young person like yourself to really reach out and talk about personal homosexual feelings, temptations, tendencies, and behavior. But, talking about it, getting it out, dealing with it, can be very therapeutic and productive. So, keep on searching your own heart, motives, tendencies, etc., along with the Word of God on this subject. If you love truth and truly love Jesus, He has promised to lead you into all truth.
First of all, let me say, Don’t try to become like “them”… Don’t make a lot of sacrifices to become like other people. Taking up your cross, denying self, and dying to self is to follow Jesus, and no one else…
Another thing I want to say right up front in response to some of your comments in your letter is this: temptation is not sin! Please read my articles on the web site about temptation and sin. Jesus himself “was tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin.” Do not let your temptation define who you are. Rather realize that your choices define who you really are. You can choose to be whoever, and whatever, you really want to be. And Jesus promises that His grace, His divine power, is sufficient for you, to give you victory, and to sustain you in that victory. But even in your victory you will be tempted to feel like a failure if you ever have a temptation. Temptation defines Satan’s plan for your life. Temptation exposes his thoughts and feelings and motives for you. So, please do not be discouraged because of the nature of temptations he throws your way.
“Submit yourself therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you…” (James 4:7,8)
You stated that you know God could have prevented certain events in your life, and then you asked why God doesn’t just take away your feelings. My friend, God must allow Satan to play his hand and reveal the character of his government, to be exposed as the destructive force in the universe that he is, in order for sin and misery and death to forever be laid to rest throughout all eternity. It is a privilege for you and me to be able to stand before the world and before Satan and his mischievous masses as brands plucked from the burning, as captives set free, demonstrating to the universe the power of God to save the likes of you and me from our unique and seemingly “unchangeable” lifestyles of sin and degradation.
When you and I stand to give our testimonies of deliverance from the hand of Satan, people are in awe and wonder at the love and power of God to work out His saving grace in such a powerful way through us. I see this all the time. S.A., people have come to me after hearing my story with wonder and amazement, saying, “Pastor Ron, (that’s my real name), if God can save you, then…, why…, He can save anybody!! Some of these same people have then asked me, me…, the once self-destructive and degraded homosexual, to baptize them once again now that they see and understand the amazing power of God to deliver His people from their sins.
God does not leave you to battle this issue alone. He does not leave you fighting these temptations and having this struggle for no good reason. Through you and your struggle, through the cross that you bear, you share in the sufferings of Jesus and should have a better understanding of His struggle against Satan and temptation. After all, He was tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin. He suffered being tempted. (Hebrews 2:18) And He resisted unto blood, striving against sin, against temptation. (Hebrews 12:4) He had that battle until He drew His last breath. Jesus was never delivered from temptation, just as you and I may never be. But He was victorious nonetheless! He did not give into it.
Through you, and through me, Jesus’ victory continues to be played out to the watching world, and watching universe. Count your afflictions as a blessing. They can be to the glory of God if you will focus upon the vindication of His character and not your own struggle. Does that make sense? It’s almost 1:00 AM, so I may be just rambling here. But I do think the Lord is giving me fresh insights at this wee hour of the morning as I write to you — new insights that are helpful to myself as well!
You inquire about straight people not having this same struggle that you and I may have to deal with. But let me help you with this concept. Homosexuality is a violation of the 7th commandment. So is premarital sex, extramarital sex, bisexuality, masturbation, pedophilia, pornography, lust of the heart…, etc. Do you get my point? These are all variations of the violation of the 7th commandment. They are all the same sin, just with different people, or methods. Homosexuality is not the unpardonable sin, or any worse than any of those just mentioned above. Be thankful that you are not dealing with their difficult tastes and tendencies…!!!
You mentioned that homosexuality is an addiction. And that is a very good observation. But we can take it a little farther and acknowledge that sin itself is addictive. That’s why the Bible refers to the bondage of sin, in words like “servants (slaves) of sin”, and being “made free from sin”. (See Romans 6). It is addictive and must be dealt with very seriously, like putting something to death.
Enough said for this late hour of the night. Just be of good courage, my young friend. Jesus loves you immensely, even with the struggle you are in. He wants to spend eternity with you by His side, as His peculiar treasure. He can and will save you personally from your sin, if you will but believe and trust in Him to do so. Focus upon His great and loving sacrifice for you that you might have eternal life with Him, and this will give you direction in your life that will lead you up the narrow way which leads to eternal life. Do not be discouraged by temptation. Always remember in such circumstances that you are in good company. Jesus knows what you are going through, and He will be there to see you through, to assist you, if you will but call out to Him.
“For we have not an high priest (Jesus) which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us, therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, (where we receive divine power to resist and to overcome), that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”
All Power to you, my young friend!
“Victor J. Adamson”