Were you born as a homosexual? Are people born as homosexuals?
Most of my life I believed I had been born “different” from other people, but I now believe that to not be the case.
Many gay people believe themselves to have been born gay. However, true scientific research in this area has proven that there is no such thing as a gay gene, that it is impossible for people to be born gay. Homosexuality is a conditioned behavior resulting from any number of many environmental factors.
What factors led to your being a homosexual?
There were many factors that contributed to my “becoming” homosexual, i.e., being robbed of my innocence at the tender age of four years and repeated such instances as I grew older; misunderstanding and disapproval by the men figures in my life, especially my father who also was emotionally and physically abusive towards me until I left home at the age of 15; my overly sensitive feelings of rejection, real and surmised; my own pride, self-centeredness, and indulged desire (fantasizing) for that which was forbidden by a plain “thus saith the Lord.” No doubt there were other contributing factors as well, but you can see that it is not necessarily any one thing that conditions one’s thinking, feelings, emotions, and tendencies into this perversion of God’s gift of sexuality, or any other of a number of diversions as well.
Were you ever content with your life as a homosexual?
On the surface I was content, for I was no longer wrestling against those unwanted feelings, emotions, and tendencies. There is initially a sense of relief when one ceases to fight and just gives in. However, I could never escape the sense of guilt and shame I experienced as one who had given in to a life of perversion. I was not comfortable being open with my homosexuality, but rather attempted to hide that side of myself while in the workplace and in the general public. It was also helpful for me to numb my senses and conscience through the use of alcohol and drugs from time to time, and to fill my life with “busyness” so that I would not have to face myself and my true condition. I drowned out the “still small voice” through nightclubbing and rock music and an acquired addiction to television and movies and all sorts of entertainment.
How did you realize that the homosexual life was not satisfying you?
Though my life was filled with many distractions from facing my conscience, there was always “the morning after” syndrome, like the hangover from alcohol, or the headache after the caffeine and nicotine wear off, in which I experienced disappointment, loneliness, emptiness, rejection, times of despair and depression, infidelity by those who were “committed” to me. I began to realize that though my life was filled with much excitement, pleasure, self-gratification, self-glory, adventure, etc., yet it was a life with no real and lasting joy, peace, assurance, nor the genuine unconditional love offered by God and His true children. There was always the possibility of being replaced by another “Mr. Right”, one younger or better looking or more appealing than myself. The gay life was one of many uncertainties, disappointments, and heartaches.
In the rare occasions that I was around genuine Christians, it was also very apparent to me that my life was lacking what they had; that my life was shallow and meaningless, filled with counterfeits of what God really offers His children.
Is it possible to be a homosexual but to not practice the sexual behaviour of a homosexual?
Yes, just as it is possible to be a thief who no longer steals because he is in prison, or a murderer who no longer kills because he is behind bars. Yes, of course, it is possible to suppress one’s behavior. Monasteries and Convents around the world are filled with people who have taken vows of chastity, poverty, silence, etc. But that is not an indication of what exists within the heart of man. Sin begins in the heart, or the mind, and can be very active there even though overt behavior is suppressed.
I believe that God’s plan for His children results in being born again spiritually with new motives, new tastes, and new tendencies. I believe that a genuine conversion changes both hereditary and cultivated tendencies to wrong. This is stated clearly in 2 Corinthians 5:17 which reads, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature (creation): old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
Also, if we accept the Biblical classification of homosexuality to be that of one of many “abominations”, a sin issue, then we must acknowledge that it is a form of bondage, or addiction. And to this diagnosis we are given the promise that Jesus “shall save His people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:21) We are further encouraged by the promise of complete healing in the words of John 8:38 – “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
One really has no excuse to remain in homosexuality, nor in any other sin condition for that matter, for the apostle Paul tells us that “It is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” And that we can be “confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 2:13; 1:6)
Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the Ending, the Author and Finisher of our faith. He is not a quitter where our salvation from sin is concerned. None have excuse for remaining unchanged, uncleansed, unsanctified in light of all that God has promised to do for us and in us.
Paul goes on to admonish the homosexual (and other sinners) to not just suppress unwanted feelings and tendencies, but “Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Romans 12:2)
What was the hardest part of leaving your old life?
I would have to say, just letting go… I was in a long-term relationship, like a marriage, with one in whom I was deeply in love, though it was far from God’s ideal of a good relationship. As I looked to Christ, I was faced with a choice – either Him, or him… I could not have both. To believe so would be total self-dishonesty and self-deception, a denial of eternal realities. Ending that relationship was extremely traumatic, as I watched my friend sink into total despair and hopelessness with the experience of yet another “rejection” in his life. He had been abandoned by his mother at the age of two, and I saw him revert to that two-year old child going once again through all the horror of being abandoned by one in whom he had placed implicit trust with his life, his love, and his emotions. That experience haunted me for years. But it worked to sear me against ever putting myself again into a situation where I could cause so much pain and heartbreak.
The Lord has used that experience in my life, turning a very tragic one around to His glory, as I now live to bring glory to Him rather than to myself, and to be a blessing to others, rather than to seek my own gratification in this life.
What encouragement would you give to someone struggling to overcome homosexuality?
I could write a book to answer this question. Indeed, I have already! In fact, all of the questions asked in this interview have been addressed in greater depth in my book and with more thorough coverage. But suffice it to say here that there is power in the Word of God – omnipotent, divine, transforming power. To my “gay questions” I found my “straight answers”, yes, straight from the Word of God. I trusted no man with this issue, for I had been terribly disappointed in the past with counsel. I went to my knees, and to the Word, and asked for enlightenment through the Holy Spirit. In fact, my method of assisting people in this area is to point them to the Word. There are many exceeding great and precious promises in the Word, many of which I have compiled into an article entitled “Rainbow of Promises.” With every promise comes the divine power (grace) to comply with the conditions. As Jesus said to Mary, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” (John 8:11)
In the words of my favorite author, “All His (God’s) biddings are enablings.” (Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 333)
Do you ever desire to go back to your old lifestyle?
Simply put, “No!”
“Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things that God hath prepared for them that love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9) I can testify to the truth of this statement.
“Higher than the highest human thought can reach is God’s ideal for His children.” (Education, p. 19) I can testify to this statement as well.
“But what do we give up, when we give all? A sin-polluted heart, for Jesus to purify, to cleanse by His own blood, and to save by His matchless love…
“God does not require us to give up anything that it is for our best interest to retain. In all that He does, He has the well-being of His children in view. Would that all who have not chosen Christ might realize that He has something vastly better to offer them than they are seeking for themselves.” (Steps to Christ, p. 47)
My new life in Christ is filled with second chances and double portions: reconciliation with God, family and friends; a rich and full spirit filled ministry; a loving wife and two beautiful children; a music ministry I never thought possible; and the genuine love, joy, peace, and assurance I never really had outside the realm of God’s blessing.
Truly, “Father knows best…”
This article is by Victor J. Adamson