This line of questioning is uncomfortably personal. However, I believe it to be sincere. So, I’ll give it a shot. My former attractions were exclusively homosexual. I found nothing interesting about a woman sexually once I gave in to my lifelong homosexual orientation and began living an active homosexual life. The very idea of sexual intimacy with a woman I found to be repulsive.
Many people are skeptical about my new heterosexual life, but I can only testify to what it truly is. I am now attracted only to my wife with whom I find complete and joyful fulfillment. We have known each other since childhood. Being close friends with my sisters, she knew much more about me than I ever wanted her to know. But that made me more relaxed with her as I became interested in her. She truly believes in victory over sin, that Jesus came to save His people FROM their sins, and, therefore, from the beginning she has trusted me and loved me and made me feel very comfortable in my role as husband and lover, and now father of two beautiful children that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Should anything ever happen to her; should I lose her by some tragedy; I know that I could then possibly sooner or later find myself exclusively attracted to another woman, should the Lord bring another one into my life. But my wife would be hard to beat. We not only have a good intimate life, but we are best friends as well. The point I am trying to make is that I am not attracted sexually to women. I am attracted sexually and exclusively to my wife. I practice taking every thought captive and guarding well the avenues to the soul so that I don’t have eyes for other women nor for men.
May I share with you the text of Scripture that a minister shared with me that turned my life around, (if any one text could do so…)? 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. (That list included me as I used to be several times over…!!) And such WERE some of you: but ye ARE washed, but ye ARE sanctified, but ye ARE justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” (Emphasis mine)
This text pulled all the props out from under me. I had gone to this preacher just looking for information. He just quoted the word, and I was speechless. That night, when confronted by my gay partner, (my lover), I had to admit that I no longer had an excuse to remain gay. I loved my “Mr. Right” with all my heart. But my growing love for Jesus, Who first loved me, soon out weighed that love and brought me to the point of a decision. It took time, but I chose Jesus, terminated my gay relationship, (which act was the one most traumatic experience in my entire life), and submitted myself to God’s divine therapy, reconditioning, and re-creation.
In my book I enumerate the sequential steps to victory that I discovered through the study of God’s word. By His grace, I have never looked back, and I have never had any regrets. “Higher than the highest human thought can reach is God’s ideal for His children.” I can testify to this. Also, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath entered into the heart of man the things that God hath prepared for them that love Him.” This, too, I can vouch for. We don’t have to wait for heaven to begin receiving this beautiful promise.
Jesus reaches out to all of us and pleads, “My son, give me thine heart.” I try daily to do just that, and then accept His promise to work in me both to will and to do of His good pleasure, “being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in [me] will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 2:13; 1:6)
I believe it is all a matter of surrender of the will, trusting that “Father knows best.”
All Power to you!