Question: “How is homosexuality a learned behavior? I grew up in a heterosexual family where gays just don’t come out of the closet. They got hung! It took me 18 or 19 years too come out of the closet. I believe I was born this way. I just would like to know more. So how is this a learned behavior?”
Response: For years I believed that I was born gay. For as far back as I could remember I was attracted to the male gender sexually. But I now realize that for young children to have sexual attractions of any kind, like before puberty, is not natural, not normal. The hormones are not yet raging… At the age of four I was not equipped to deal with sexuality. That’s why I found myself totally unequipped to deal with the loss of my innocence at the hands of a farm hand at that young age. I was not equipped to process what had happened. I just knew that it wasn’t right. But, from that day onward, I found myself unable to control my fantasies and attractions. And I found myself to be an easy, repeated victim.
I believe, however, that there may be many, many different factors that play into the conditioning of one to be gay. You see, I personally believe that homosexuality is a conditioned, or learned behavior. But I must quickly add that one’s perception is his reality. So I don’t like to press hard on that point. If one believes he was born gay, so be it.
The bottom line is, what is to be done about it? If one is drowning in the sea, does it really matter how he found himself to be in that predicament…? Does the lifeguard qualify the situation before offering the hand of deliverance…? The same goes for one drowning in the sea of sin. Jesus doesn’t seem to focus much upon the reasons one is the sinner he is, but rather simply offers him salvation from his sin. In Jeremiah 3, God says, “Only acknowledge thine iniquity…, and I will heal your backsliding.”
In my situation, after years of blaming others, especially God Himself, for my homosexuality, I finally came to acknowledge that I was dealing with a sin issue. The Bible makes it clear that homosexuality is abominable behavior, a sin issue, (along with many other abominations, I might add). And as I decided to deal with my homosexuality in that light, using the Bible formulas for overcoming sin, I was able to walk away from my addictive homosexual behavior and lifestyle. Not without temptation, though. Please don’t misunderstand me there. I continued to struggle with temptation for some time. But then, Jesus was tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin. So, temptation, big deal…!! And Jesus “suffered being tempted.” That means that He had a tremendous struggle with temptation, urges, desires, passions, too. But He went on “resisting unto blood, striving against sin.” (Heb. 12) Jesus chose, with all His temptations, to die rather than yield to them. He expects no less from us. For He assures us that His grace, His divine transforming power and strength, is sufficient for us. He works in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure. And we can be confident that He Who has begun a good work in us will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Phil. 2:13; 1:6)
Bottom line? Born gay, or conditioned to be gay. No matter. God has a remedy. The question is, Will you reach out your hand to His and allow Him to pull you from the sea of homosexuality to safety in His arms? He is not only your Life Giver, but your Life Saver and Life Sustainer as well.
All Power to you, my friend!
“Victor J. Adamson”