In answer to your question, Researching the past can be helpful in understanding the origin of your problems. However, I don’t encourage anyone to expend a lot of energy in that direction if the answers don’t come too easily. Here’s why. Picture someone drowning in the sea. Along comes a life boat and a life guard. Does the life guard spend time questioning the drowning victim as to how he came to be in such a desperate condition? Does the drowning victim waste time explaining to himself or to the life guard how he came to be in his predicament?
No! It really doesn’t matter how he got there. What matters is that he needs a savior, a life guard. And one is there to save him. But he must cooperate with the life guard, the savior. He must submit to his instructions or risk demise.
So it is with the soul drowning in the sea of sin. You don’t need to explain to God all the reasons you are in your lost condition. For one thing, He already knows all that. You don’t need to explain to yourself, either. Jesus says simply, “Only acknowledge thine iniquity, …and I will heal your backsliding.” (Jeremiah 3)
In other words, “Stop explaining, blaming, rationalizing, and justifying yourself. I cannot justify you, (forgive you), while you are busy justifying yourself. Just admit that you are sinning, that you need a Savior from your sins, (See Matthew 1:21), not in your sins, and I can be that Saviour. For I came to save My people from their sins.”
Friend, there is nothing you can do about yesterday; no way that you can erase it or reverse it. But by your choices today and God’s grace which is sufficient for you today, you can chart an entirely new course for yourself. This requires total submission on your part to His instructions and to His plan for your life. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” This simply means, and most assuredly means that “The new birth consists in having new motives, new tastes, new tendencies. …A genuine conversion changes hereditary and cultivated tendencies to wrong.”
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All Power to you, my friend!