Question: I’m a female Christian who was just approached by a female, stating she has had a crush on me for a long time and desires to get to know me better with hopes of beginning a relationship. I shared with her that dating females is not my preference, and as far as building a relationship, I will only be interested in that of a friendship. As a Christian, how do I befriend someone of the same sex knowing she is interested in being more than friends with me? I have had other females in the past that have been attracted to me and have boldly expressed that to me. Their homosexual spirit has been so strong as to try to come upon me, although I know and truly recognize that this is an abomination unto the Lord. What is your insight into this? Thank you in advance and I pray that God will bless you a hundredfold for sowing seeds of righteousness. Your website is an inspiration. I have read many of the comments listed, and I appreciate how you answer everyone with the heart of God, which is His Word.
Reply: Hello, S___, and thank you for your question, because I know your situation is not an uncommon one. And it should be addressed to help others as well as yourself.
As a Christian, it is important that you always show yourself to be friendly, loving, and loveable. However, in this case your friendliness needs to be with wisdom and caution. You cannot afford to become close friends with someone who has designs upon you for a homosexual relationship, for the Bible tells us “not to company with fornicators.” (1 Corinthians 5:9,11) But you can be friendly.
We are also counseled that if anyone obeys not the word of God, “note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.” (2 Thessalonians 3:14,15)
I would suggest that you only associate with someone like this within a group setting. In this way you are free to be friendly without it being misinterpreted as mutual attraction. Also in this way this lady will not need to feel shunned or slighted or left out and can be the beneficiary of Godly love and friendship and counsel even though her ways and persuasion may not presently be righteous.
From you and others in your circle of friends she needs to experience unconditional love and acceptance towards herself without being led to believe that her behavior is loved and accepted. Does that make sense? Work along with others towards her redemption.
Jesus loved Mary and said to her “Neither do I condemn thee: Go and sin no more.” He obviously loved and accepted her but not her sin. He maintained a wholesome and Godly relationship with Mary that never led her to believe that He condoned her previous lifestyle of adultery. We also have no record of Him ever socializing with her alone, but rather always in a group setting.
Pray for wisdom that you may be a blessing to this lady without encouraging her in the direction of sin.
All Power to you!