Thank you for writing. I know that it must be tough to express your feelings of frustration as you have. I commend you for your courage. Now, I need to ask you a few thought questions to help you sort this thing out.
Is it your Christian background that makes you feel uncomfortable with the thought of being gay? If so, is it because you want to be a Christian yourself? And, if you do, do you think that Jesus would be unhappy with you being homosexual?
It seems today that society doesn’t care whether you are straight or gay. So, I propose that if you are struggling with the idea, it is because the Holy Spirit is attempting to reach your heart and save you from making shipwreck of your life, as I did of my own for so many years.
You have mentioned the Bible and questioned whether the Bible says homosexuality is wrong, so I want to respond to you from a Biblical perspective.
Matthew 1:21 tells us that Jesus came to save His people from their sins. Why? Because the wages, or consequences, of sin is death – eternal death. (Romans 6:23) And God loves you, M___, not wanting to live eternally without you. He created you as someone to love and to cherish for all eternity. You are unique and very special to Him.
No one in all the universe can take your place in His heart. You and I and everyone have sinned, for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) But Jesus has provided a way for us to escape the punishment of our sins, if we are willing to forsake them, and has also provided for you the gift of eternal life, if you are willing to accept it.
If you confess your sins, He is faithful and just to forgive you your sins, and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
The big question is this, “Is homosexuality sin? Is it wrong? Does the Bible say so?” If it is sin, and you confess it to be your sin, then, according to the above text, you can be forgiven. And not only forgiven, but cleansed from it.
When we reclassify homosexuality, however, from the category of sin to that of “an acceptable alternative lifestyle,” then God Himself can do nothing for us. For He sent His only begotten Son to save His people from their “sins”, not from something acceptable, not from some minority status, not from their sexual preferences, not from some genetic or psychological disorder. But from their “sins.”
Contrary to what people are telling you, here’s what the Bible does say about homosexuality:
“Thou shalt not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14) Adultery being any sexual behavior or practice outside of marriage as God created it to be.
“Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.” “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination…” (Lev. 18:22; 20:13)
“Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie… For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use (the natural sexual intercourse) into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use (or intercourse) of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly…. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind…” (Romans 1:24-28)
You see, M___, God cannot and will not interfere with the power of choice He has given each one of us. But if we choose to follow Him, even against our feelings, tendencies, and emotions, then He supplies His divine power (grace) to overcome our temptations and our sins.
“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, …nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind…shall inherit the kingdom of God.”
But, M___, don’t miss the promise that immediately follows: “And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)
M___, there are so many great promises in the Bible assuring you that you can be straight, that you can be everything God created you to be, that you can have a life of joy, peace, happiness, and fulfillment. If you will go through my web site material carefully you will find a lot of material that will answer many, if not most, of your questions. In this reply, I’m simply trying to steer you in the right direction and give you hope and courage to make the right choices. I wish you would read my story, for I am sure that you would see many parallels with your own life, your confusion and frustration. God does have the answers for you, and He can give you freedom and peace. Higher than the highest human thought can reach is God’s ideal for you, M___.
I would suggest that you go to the other Questions of the Week, starting at the bottom of the list and work up. In the Featured Article section I have posted an article called “A Rainbow of Promises.” Please check it out. I am sure you will find there some very encouraging and strengthening material. Let me know how it goes.
God be with you, and I will be praying for you!