“Does God really have the ability to heal me from my homosexuality? If so, then why am I still attracted to guys and to my lover Bob? I have been trying for years to become straight, for I know what God’s word says. I’m at the point of just letting go of God and being true to myself, just accepting being gay, for He has not healed me. However, I know God won’t let go of me, and that’s the painful thing. I wish He would stop playing games with me and just deliver me from being gay, for I’m starting to loose faith in his ability to heal me. Maybe God likes me this way?”
Response: First of all, let me assure you that God does like you. In the words He spoke to Jeremiah, “Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee…” In other words, “I knew you from the point of conception. I loved you then, and I love you now. I knew what you would become in life, but I allowed you to be born anyway, knowing what you would become, but also knowing what you could become, and wanting to spend eternity with you, if you would allow me to be your Savior from sin, the wages of which, otherwise, is death.”
Yes, my friend, He does like you very much, even though you are gay and presently out of sync with His ultimate plan for your life. You see, it is the sin he hates, not the sinner. He loves you enough to give you the opportunity to choose to become other than what you may now be.
I can assure you that God is not playing games with you. He is deadly serious about reclaiming that which was taken from Him by Satan. Just look to the cross of Calvary, and you will see how serious He is about saving you from a life of sin and its consequences. He gave His only Son that you, should you believe in Him, need not perish (the wages of sin), but that you might have life, and that more abundantly, even eternal life.
God’s ability to heal your homosexuality is limited only by your power of choice, which He created in you. I remember the time I pleaded with God to get me out of my gay relationship. It was a bad one, and I wanted Him to get me out of it. So, I made a deal with Him. “If you will bring this relationship to an end, God, I promise that I will go straight; that I will never enter into another gay relationship.”
The relationship ended shortly thereafter by mutual agreement. And it wasn’t even two weeks later that I was considering another fellow as a suitable replacement! My promise to God was completely forgotten; not that I could have kept it on my own anyway…
Several years later, under much conviction about the sinfulness of my life, I again promised God that if He would bring my relationship to an end, then I would go straight. I just couldn’t bear the thoughts of breaking another heart. God did not bring that relationship to an end, however. He just laid on the ever-increasing conviction until I knew that I had to step out in faith. I had to act upon my beliefs and convictions, realizing that His grace (divine strength) was sufficient for me. In explicit trust in Him, I terminated my “perfect” gay relationship with a man I dearly loved and entered into a covenant relationship with my Redeemer instead, whom I had learned to love, trust, and obey even more.
Our God is able, but we must trust Him enough to obey Him, regardless of the consequences. We can not hang on to our “lover Bob” and wait for healing from homosexuality. We must act upon our convictions, trusting God for His promised strength and healing during the process.
I would just like to reiterate that there IS something we can do to make the change in our lives. God says in Jer. 3, Only acknowledge your sin, your need, and I will heal you.
First we must acknowledge homosexuality to not be in harmony with God’s will. Isn’t knowing this the cause of the mental anguish & struggle?[Homosexuality being: “1. The condition of being sexually attracted to persons of the same sex. 2. Sexual relations between those of the same sex.” Standard College Dictionary; Harcourt, Brace & World]
Then we can choose to allow Him to be Lord and Master. We then trust, and obey Him with a complete surrender of our own will. Jesus rendered unquestioning obedience to His Father, according to Phil. 2, and practiced total self denial when tempted to deviate from God’s plan for His life. And Paul tells us in Phil. 2, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.”
These are just a few suggestions, not meant to be comprehensive at all. But we do have our part to play, mainly to surrender the will, and make the right choices. He then can work in us to will and to do what is right.
Through the right exercise of the will, an entire change may be made in your life. By yielding up your will to Christ, you link up with all the power in heaven and earth, and you will have strength from above to succeed. Through constant surrender to God you will be enabled to live the new life, the life of faith.
And, you are right, God won’t let go of you, my friend, because He truly loves you and wants the very best for you. Look once again at the cross, and you will see why He will not let you go easily. Jesus died for you. Why not live for Him…?
All power to you,